An Audience of One

     Practically anyone would agree that we are born with a innate desire to be accepted by others. As small children we constantly seek the approval of our parents through everything we do, even if we do not entirely understand what they find acceptable behavior--but that doesn’t stop us from trying, now does it? When we become a little older, our peers become another audience from whom we feel that we must earn respect.

     Personally, I feel the pressure to perform for my parents, my peers, and people in general. My parents have raised me with somewhat high expectations, and they have instilled in me an attitude of excellence. Because of this I feel as though I must make them proud by excelling at absolutely everything I do. While this is, in fact, impossible to do, I still have the drive to live up to their standards. For friends and colleagues I feel as though I must prove my worth through academic prowess and intellectual adeptness. As for everyone else, I feel inclined to show them that I can do anything expected of me.

     Mindsets such a this are proof that many of us have taken our focus from the one  audience that truly matters: God. In our attempts to keep treading water in the face of the overwhelming flood of schoolwork and other extra-curricular commitments and please others while doing so, we often forget how to refocus our eyes on God. In order to do this, we must make a concerted effort to put Him first in all that we do, even if it seems as though we may suffer imperfections in our work, social life, etc. If we can make sure to be in the habit of not only reading God’s Word but acting upon it on a daily basis, then may more easily keep ourselves aligned with God’s Will. Our Audience of One is, in the long run, much less stressful and much less disappointing for whom to perform.

Serving man, or serving God?

     The phrase “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him” essentially means that good works done in the name of Christ often take precedence (albeit unconsciously) over the actual attitude of serving God. Much of the time people get so focused upon doing charitable and “religious” acts such as helping at homeless shelters and going on missions trips that they often forget the reason behind why they are doing those things in the first place. Some become absorbed in good works to the point that they want to become associated with and labeled by them, which leads to a prideful ambition to be seen doing good things. They then make good works the “god” of their life by letting the act of service take priority over actually worshipping God.

 Students, especially at Christian colleges, are bombarded with opportunities to serve others. Oftentimes, after long periods of time of serving others in the name of Christ, it becomes an habitual motion, an automatic response. This mechanized gesture of kindness obscures the original intent of glorifying God by acting like Him. Another common result of the push towards serving is the mentality that if you are seen doing good things for others, then you gain points in the books of your friends. The inherent desire for acceptance by one’s peers and authority figures is a powerful incentive to do good things in God’s name, but it definitely takes the focus away from actually serving Christ and being devoted to Him and puts it upon the whimsical approval of men. Seeing this, students (myself included) should make it a point to evaluate their motives and to reflect on how their everyday deeds bring glory to God.

Stories and Change

      Since arriving at JBU I have found that, although I have not changed dramatically, I have become much more comfortable in who I am as a person. I have typically been rather introspective and shy around those who I do not know, not wanting others to see the nerdy and slightly awkward girl that I really was. However, I have made the acquaintance of incredibly supportive peers who have accepted me the way I am. This feeling of acceptance has given me a greater sense of self-confidence, enabling me to feel much less apprehensive about meeting new people.

     Lately, I have been thinking about what I am doing with my life--as all college students do at one point or another. My original plan for my life was to become a physical therapist so that I may help in the rehabilitation of others. However, I soon realized that I did not have a specific reason or passion behind it. Through conversations with others about random subjects, the theme of Dry Gulch (my church's summer camp) kept coming up. I was not entirely sure why, until I revisited a memory that really changed my outlook on life. I was very blessed growing up, being in a healthy Christian household, but I was a bit of a social outcast as a child. At Dry Gulch, I reached out to those who were rejected by their peers, for one reason or another, and I did my best to show them that they are loved. My ambition in life is to take this passion and apply it. I want to show underprivileged children the love of Christ through not only medical care, but by healing them emotionally and spiritually as well.

Destiny at Dry Gulch

     A slight summer breeze cools my skin as I am walking up the hill. The sun disappears and reappears behind tufts of cloud. The campers are talking and laughing together about all the fun they had while they were at the lake. Except one. She begins to lag behind the group on our way to the bunk, just shuffling her feet half-heartedly. I fall back with her so that she is not left behind, thinking that she is simply tired from all the activity. 

     As we walk up to the porch, I notice a single tear falling down her face.

     "What's wrong, Destiny?" I ask, concerned.

     She pauses at the edge. "I don't wanna talk about it. 'Specially not with everyone else around."

     I turn to the other girls and tell them to meet up with the other counselor inside the cabin.

     "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm more than willing to listen," I say encouragingly.

     She sits down on the porch, shaking ever so slightly. "I don't wanna go back."

     "Go back where?"

     "Home. I don't like it there."

     "Why don't you like home?"

     She slowly lifts her head, her eyes welling with tears, "My parents don't care about me. They just use me however they can," she says, her voice choking up with emotion. Her voice cracks as she begins to cry, "They don't care about me. All they care about is they drugs. They've made me push 'em for a long time. I don't like it at all." She hesitates before going further, "They've even tried to sell me for 'em."

     For a moment I am shocked into silence. I reach my arms around her shoulders and bring her to me. 

     "Oh, Destiny, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I lay her head on my shoulder as she continues to sob. "I love you so much, Destiny. I may have only known you for a few days, but that does diminish how much I love you." I gently pull her out of the embrace. "You know what else?" I ask her.

     Her much-too-old-looking eyes gaze up at me, "What?"

     "God loves you even more than I do. God loves your beautiful face, your spunky personality,  He loves you more than anyone on Earth can love you. He doesn't want you to be treated this way. And He has such great plans for you." I pull her back into a tight hug.

     More tears fall down her face and onto my shoulder.

     My eyes begin to water. We rock back and forth, hugging and crying together. But the tears of sadness are beginning to mingle with tears of thankfulness and relief.

     "I love you, Destiny," I say through the emotions.

     "I love you too, Miss Amanda," she manages to say. "Thank you...thank you." Her arms squeeze tighter around me.

     This particular memory is extremely powerful for me. Hearing Destiny's story was a real eye-opener. I had grown up in a good Christian household, and I had lived a somewhat sheltered life from the evils of the world. I became a counselor at my church's summer camp after my sophomore year of high school because I felt called there, but I wasn't entirely sure why. However, after this I knew that I was supposed to me there for Destiny. Her parents had never told her that they loved her--if they ever did, it would have been a painful lie--nor had anyone really showed her God's love and Word. This experience not only made me appreciate my family, but also appreciate God's power. After my fellow counselor and I prayed with her, she wanted to dedicate her life to Christ. Even now, I am practically speechless. I cannot ever fully understand or express my gratitude for God using me for the betterment of another person's life.

"Human Flourishing"

          Students feel the need to control their lives because many of them have already put vast amounts of effort into being successful. While striving for success is an admirable goal, the illusion of “control” is not necessarily good. Trying to control one’s life by oneself can often seem like one is insulting God, even if that is not one’s intent. Students often don’t trust anyone but themselves to be able to help in the right way, but this behavior inadvertently pushes God’s extended hand away from them. This need for control and one’s acting upon it by oneself is not entirely biblical. If Jesus Christ is the Lord of one’s life, then why doesn’t one ask him for help?


          I, myself, am not exactly a great example of one who gives control of one’s life to God. I, too, get so caught up in the busyness of schoolwork, theatre, sports and other extra-curricular activities that I (unfortunately) forget that I have someone upon whom I can cast my trust and my cares and that He actually wants to help. As a student, I sometimes become so bent upon accomplishing my goals that my mind compartmentalizes my work and my God. While this is not a good habit in which to fall, I am constantly trying to make myself aware of the situations in which this occurs so that I may better my behavior. I believe that this is a prominent issue in today’s society, and I hope that others will realize its prevalence.

~Why does society stress the role of extreme  achievement?

~Why doesn't the Christian community take a bigger stand on this issue?